I have to be honest… I desperately need help.

thevioletghost:

I… Have been struggling like a lot as of late. I have been working hard since 2014 to get myself a job only to no avail after what feels like hundreds of applications I’ve filled out. There was a point I had a job but I got fired over bullshit reasons back in 2016. Those of you who know me have known this for a long time a very long time I’ve been trying hard since I graduated High School to keep it in but I’m honestly… Loosing the battle.

I continue to get these comments telling me how my stuff is good. Bout how I’m a great artist, person, whatever to be around. In truth the comments mean a lot to me they support me emotionally but…. Don’t really help much anymore. Sure the positive comments help keep me going and thinking that I may someday make good out of these skills I’ve gotten over the years but it doesn’t help when I honestly need money to do things I WANT to do. Things I need to keep myself going and continue doing what you guys all enjoy and myself. I WANT to commission artwork from other artist. I want to somehow support myself as a person I WANT to get a job but none of these things have happened and my situation keeps changing like a roller coaster.

There has been attempts good strides. At one point on my Patreon I had amassed 100 dollars… Only to watch as they stole every last dime from me and I had to pay people back… Which I still haven’t cause well obvious reasons hard to pay back people when you have no money now isn’t it?

I’ve been trying desperately to get things working to amass some kind of funding for myself so I can do things I have been wanting to do for years…. Every plan has backfired and only put me more in debt. I try and work my fingers to the bone only to get nowhere over and over and over again.I haven’t left the house to go out of town in what feels like a year and I just… This year it’s been harder than it ever has been.

Sorry to take up you guys time, sorry to be bitching like this but I just really need the help and I have no idea where else I can turn. I can’t get a job, I can’t move out of town, Hell it’s to the point I feel no one wants me around anymore. I jjust want to support myself I just want to support myself so I can stop asking my friends for things. So I can do nice things for my friends and family.  I wanna stop feeling like a leech and actually accomplish something but it’s hard to feel like I am getting anywhere when I never have any money to myself to spend on what I want or need.

I hate to ask but if you could give me a coffee on ko-fi or any advice… Any idea on where to go/what to do it will all be appreciated.To anyone who gives me advice I might not act like I appreciate it. I might not act like it means anything to me but it means the world in honesty. To anyone who gives me a coffee on kofi thank you greatly. I might not be able to pay you back for the coffee but I’ll keep going cause it’s what you want and what I want the last thing I want to do is stop.

https://ko-fi.com/thevioletghost Here’s my ko-fi if it’s needed.

This will be deleted on a later date just yeah bad day.

splatchs:

splash needs more D

Update

mod is not good at drawing the D.

nor has any money to commission the D

therefore

Splash will just have to suffer.

splash needs more D

splatchs:

If you following for art

You either are get crappy quality or very very very rarely get something good either way you wont see art often.

This is blog for my dirty mind. I don’t art it out very much so

We can be pervs together I suppose !

hello

NSFW commission are banned

BUT

that does not mean I won’t stop all together it will just be posted and drawn when I feel like it .

mscolorsplash:

PSA for people with servere depression

Hi its kinda out of the norm for me to do this but this is for both myself, my friends, and others who have this.

When you have severe depression your mood and choices tend to change almost immediately. One moment you would want to go to an amusement park and the next you just want lie in bed and cry all day. I’ve noticed different people handle this differently. Servere depression is a form of mental illnesses, and needs to handled very carefully.

If you have this, you know what I mean when you feel like, you can be friends with everyone and the next feel like they all hate you.

If you see this, be kind with your words and don’t get annoyed by the sudden change in mood with this person. It can be difficult because it happenes more often than others. All you can do is check on them. And if you have Depression, find something to keep you distracted like a hobby or a pet.

Take a deep breath and and find a comfort in something small. such as the sky or petting an animal. Sense I work at a place with stuffed animals my way, is dressing them up or giving them a hug.

I’m gonna takel 3 different types of people who don’t know how to handle this and how they can learn

Stubborn/blunt people

These kinds of people who live or know others who have severe drepression, tend to have a habit of telling them to get over it or to stop being dramatic. unfortunately this makes it worse for the person with the illness.

If you know someone or you are that someone who gets annoyed with those who show a bit of weakness or sluggish behavior please. Take a moment and imagine the worst thing happening to you. like losing a job and thinking of every possibility to fix that but all lead to failure no matter what. how embarrassing and hard it can be to go through. Now imagine that happening to you everyday at random. This is how a person with severe depression feels.

If your stubborn and act like this to a person with this illness just hold your tounge, and allow yourself to imagine a time you had a hard time going through, and pretend that person is going through it. Handel it as if you where handling yourself but as a small child.

The next person is the motherly one.

The one who over looks this and assumes the worst. This is a hit and miss. It can be good to be concerned but not so overly concerned you drive that person to shut you out. We tend to worry we are bothing you to much and hate that we are making you feel this way. It’s good to ask if we are doing ok every now and then. But don’t treat us like a wounded animal. Treat like we have small but not serious cold. Be easy and if it seems to get worse then be more concerned. But give them the space and time to get the courage to talk to you, or to overcome it.

Signs that it’s Getting worse is, mood swings, over sleeping, not eating, less social, and bigger changes in personality.

last but not least the pushy one.

These people have good Intentions and mean no harm. But tend to push it a little to far. by making an assumption on why we are upset and how it can be fixed. This is not the case, we do appreciate it but if you assume and don’t give us the chanch to tell you or make us feel comfortable to tell you the REAL reason, we will end up going with your plan and nothing will be solved and its just a waste of time. Those people are usually impatient and think they are amazing at everything and are oblivious about how they are acting.

If your like this take a step back and slow down. People with depression are slow and shy . Back up and confort them and ask general but on point questions and statements such as “Are you ok?” “It’s hard I’m sorry to hear that.” “What was the last thing to made you happy?” “Remember that time ____ that was really funny.”

I know some have it worse than others and people who act like this towards people who have this illness and shut out people completely does not help the situation. Those who go mute or never give a clear answer means just give them space. let them know your here and throw comforting things at them every now and then. It’s like earning the trust of a stray animal. be gentle and patient.

last thing I wanna say. Don’t being up the time they where down too much if they are in a good mood and you talk about it. It will just start the cycle all over again. Just assure them that you care and that today is gonna be great. And how happy you are to see them in a good mood, You’d be surprised how such simple things said can make a serverly depressed person extremely happy.

I’m not sure if this is spot on, but this is how I feel about it.

And remember your loved and cared for if you think so or not. You always has someone to talk to or some animal. And your not alone on this insanely scary rollar coaster ride.

Originally posted by hafanforever

(sorry for bad grammar)