ok.

you guys have told me about vanilla stuff like grinding against blankets and stuffed toys when you were younger, or bondage, or furry/similar. you guys have told me about really weird stuff like watermelon fucking, various odd objects being shoved up the arsehole, and the one thing with the swimming pool and imagining tiny tarzan sounding up your urethra. and everything worse, better, in between.

i’ve kept my shaming to a minimum. i’ve decided it would be best not to shame everyone tonight. perhaps this was out of kindness, some faint sense of benevolence. because i know the things people fap to are weird. i know. i’ve been there, too, and i know. many of us have jacked off to weird things, and done weird sexual things. that’s totally okay.

people are weird, and sex is weird. if you can laugh about it and not take it too seriously, that’s great. it doubt it turns out like in the porn videos and sex flicks and the fade-to-black movie scenes (or worse, the strategically framed movie scenes). so yeah, real sex and real sexual experiences are really weird.

a lot of us have done things that are not safe for our bodies. i’m sure several of you out there, in a pool of a lot of you, have put things up your orifices that did not come out because you pushed it too far. or maybe there were times you realized the importance of lube. it’s important to learn from your past mistakes, so as not to repeat them. remember that butt items need a flared base. remember that lube is important. it can be funny to look back and laugh at what you did, because you know you’ll never do that kind of thing again.

there are a lot of stories to share, and i’m glad to be the one sharing them with you all as some weird sex story hub. tonight, here on this internet blog.

but this.

this.

this, i must kinkshame.